I have Blue days too

It is so much easier to sing about my desires to give my all to Christ than to go out and actually do so. My heart is truly for that. I want Him to be my everything all of the time.

At the same time, I don't want to be all about DOING all the time. or ever. I just want to be with him and walk in the Spirit while worshipping in spirit and in truth.

But do my actions or LACK of certain actions honor and please the Lord? Am I concerned about the state of the people around me, am I concerned about the Lord's will WHILE I'm living my daily life? I want to be. I want everything I do to be about Him and about the mission. Not about me. About me= misery. About Him= power, truth, out-of-this-world amazingness.

FATHER, GIVE ME UTTERANCE. Speak through me, love others through me.

I just need to pray. Fervent, passionate prayer.

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oh my gosh, little yippie dog in some random loft across the way: SHUT UP. seriously. you're so annoying and no one likes you, flufferton. please. stop. now. dang it.

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I really miss home. I miss my family. I don't know if I want to live on my own anymore :( It's nice, yes, but is it necessary? Did the Lord really tell me to move or did I just really want to move? I can't remember. I kinda want to move in with my dad. I'm sure I'll be fine once May arrives. I'm blaming it on the weather!

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I am so dang excited to go on a mission to Spain and Morocco with an awesome group of mission-minded people who love the Lord and people! I know God is going to do a work in that place, in my life, in everything. I am excited and ready to get my praying on. Unleashing heaven on earth. BOOYAH. that's the word of the day.

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I am sick of being alone so much. I just need another body in the room! Preferably a sister or two. Or a few brothers is okay.

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I need to study music theory. I have a big test Jan 11 (over the entire 1st semester that I was and wasn't there for). I also want to study spanish. And guitar. and more than anything the Bible. but what in the Bible? hmm.

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I'm quite lonely. and spoiled.