Mixin' it all together

Please keep Lindsey, her husband Greg, and the Morris family in your prayers.

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I love, love, love baking cookies. Especially when I have a free day and I have someone in mind. Today I am baking cookies for my piano students.

Growing up I didn't mind following directions. When it came to cookies or any other recipe, really, I would love measuring out every ingredient perfectly. However, once it came to the part where you had to mix it all together... well, I would just want to throw everything in at once. I found out that you get the same outcome, so why start with the butter, sugars and vanilla, and THEN the flour and everything else? It's all going to the same place, anyway.

Well, a while ago I decided to go ahead and give the "right way" a try. I found that- though profoundly simple- the process was so much easier and even faster than ever, even though it initially took some patience.

I realized that this has been my life for so long. I really do have a vision, but I put everything in at once and make myself entirely too busy in order to get everything "over with". In the end, it might appear and taste the same, but the process is much more difficult once you try to mix everything together at once.

So I have decided to go about the process of life the "right way". I am certain it will be much more enjoyable, and I might even get other people in to help out with the process... heh. It's a cheesy analogy, but really. It was an "aha" moment that I am thankful for. I am trusting the Lord to provide accountability as well as reminders from him. I know he doesn't want me to burn out on life, as he has promised sleep and rest and peace. That doesn't mean I'm gonna take a break on all hard things in life- no. It simply means I'm going to purpose to slow down and enjoy the process, enabling me to better trust the Lord for every step along the way.

What do you want for dinner?

Luke 11:5-9

And he said unto them, Which of you shall have a friend, and shall go unto him at midnight, and say unto him, Friend, lend me three loaves;

For a friend of mine in his journey is come to me, and I have nothing to set before him?

And he from within shall answer and say, Trouble me not: the door is now shut, and my children are with me in bed; I cannot rise and give thee.

I saw unto you, Though he will not rise and give him, because he is his friend, yet because of his importunity he will rise and give him as many as he needeth.

And I saw unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.

I hate being a burden to other people. I don't want to inconvenience anyone, and I'd rather be completely independent than bear the guilt in have someone go totally out of their way for me. I only want people to help if I know they really want to (I'm not so sure that's a good thing.) Most of the time it seems I don't understand that some people might really want to offer help and support.  Even when people say it's no big deal or that they want to, it's often hard to believe them. Same thing goes for simple ways of people showing their support for me. If I have some no-big-deal performance, for instance, I always say I don't care if people come because that's really what I think in my head. But I guess when people do come anyway, it shows me they really do "just want to" and I am always caught off guard in a positive way. I feel very loved. So I can now acknowledge that the times I really DO want people to come, but I say they don't have to, that I'm just being selfish because I want people to love me on their own by doing little things like that without asking. When people ask if I want them to come, that shows me they don't want to but they'll make the sacrifice. Well, there ya go! They're willing, right? Sometimes though I don't recognize this willing spirit. I need to recognize I DO seek love and support through those things. I need to be honest and say "yes, it would really mean a lot to me if you could come support me, or if you could help me do this or that" or whatever.

God used the above verses from Luke 11 to get my attention and show me that people want to help me out because I'm their friend. It's not even acquaintances or distant friends I struggle with, it's those closest to me- family and my closest friends. They are for me more than anyone! What is my deal? just reach out and ask for what you need. God has placed people in your life to provide for your needs. Not just your physical needs, but your emotional and spiritual and all other needs. God will provide. And He most often uses people to do so!

I wonder why I have a tendency to not expect people to want to go out of their way for me? I go out of my way for others, but I don't think I'm some goddess or anything as if I'm the only person on earth willing to be inconvenienced for another. Maybe I get frustrated and annoyed when being inconvenienced for others? I haven't been made aware of this very often, but I guess it is true at times, and perhaps I don't want people to feel like this over me. Maybe I think I'm not worth it? I guess at times I do feel that way. But I know it's not true, so I need to cast that idea down right away.

I'm still an amateur at being honest about what I feel like having for dinner. Ha. I don't mean to be such a man pleasure. I'm getting a little better. It's taking 20 years, but I am almost to the point where I can at least make the decision of what I want in my head. Now I'm working on verbalizing it :)

I'm trying to grow up, people. Just hold your horses- it might take a while.